Sunday, November 7, 2010

Time To Get Back On The Horse

Since about June I've been avoiding finishing the essays for the last third of my book, "Finding The Pony". I think part of it was genuine distractions that needed my attention and part of it was fear. Once I finish it then I have to do something with it, mainly editing, refinement, and a lot of slashing and burning of stuff that doesn't work. I am not looking forward to that part but I do think this book has merit somewhere and so the surgery has to be done. So as winter is on the horizon and my season of writing budding I am compelled to get back on that horse and try to ride it to the finish line.


This is the book cover I've come up with so far. I think the piles of horse poo look like brown cheerio Christmas trees so I need to find something that looks more poo like. My lighting sources are a bit competitive and I think the green could be toned down a bit. The composition works for me but it still looks like a bunch of photo shopped images stuck together rather than a cohesive image.

The final third of my book will be a refinement of my exit out of the church and a little of the painful parts as I emancipated myself but then I want to focus on all the things I progressively gained as I got free from the religion of my youth and eventually religion and faith in general. I want to give some tribute to the freedom that comes with becoming agnostic but I don't want to alienate an audience that may still have a lot of ties to their own faith. Agnosticism is a part of my life but doesn't define the actual lifestyle that gives me so much more color and opportunity now that I'm out of Mormonism.

So what I need from my smattering of fans is some encouragement, some pointers, and hopefully a willingness to read each entry and give some feedback. The sound of crickets will inevitably follow but eventually somebody might trickle in and peek here and there. I appreciate every response and the willingness to read these blatherings.

4 comments:

Donna Banta said...

No sound of crickets here, I look forward to reading your book. I know something about slashing and burning. I've cut over 30,000 words from my novel, and am now in the final (hopefully) edit. It's hard "killing kittens" as they say, but it has to be done. There are just so many insane stories about Mormonism, and it's sooo hard to choose. Loved your comments on my blog yesterday, BTW, am still laughing over your point about exmormons having a common enemy -- ignorance. (snort)

Insana D said...

Thanks Donna. I don't trust myself to do the actual kitten killing because what is absolutely perfect and relevant to me is often quite innane and pointless to another. I am going to have to trust a judicious editor for all that.

My stuff is pretty lightweight. I don't do a lot of research, quotes, etc. but just offer it up as an insiders view of the Mormon culture and it's impact on creative rebellious types.

Ignorance is an insidious enemy isn't it? And willfull ignorance is the worst of all. I can forgive the naive but those that insist on self inflicted blindness really chaps my hide.

I haven't called my mother in almost a month. She's going to be getting sealed to my dead father on the 20th and I can't seem to make myself engage in even a casual conversation with her because I'm so angry over this. So I don't call at all. I just can't think of anything nice to say.

With each day that goes by the chasm grows. I don't know how to keep crossing and extending the bridge and it's my side that is doing the moving away from the hard line stance of my backward LDS family. I just don't have any productive ideas in how to engage them in conversation.

Donna Banta said...

Wow. Isn't it bizarre how Mormons have better relationships with the dead than the living? Sounds to me like the ball is in your mom's court.

Insana D said...

That would be the case in any other setting than the LDS where the bridge is only a one way deal. I cross and make some paltry offering which is rejected and so I retreat, then wait a while and then cross again, make an offering, and retreat, etc.. It's been like this for the last decade and I've run out of offerings.

Maybe I need to encase my offering in a vat of green jello or cheesy potatos. Then they'd recognize it.

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